Q:I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did over your last two reviews in a long time. This is basically "When Stu Met Sue."
It only gets worse.
Q:you know, I bet the reason Kate doesn't "force Jillian to tell her more than she wants" or whatever is because she can just invade her grandma's brain while she's asleep or something and find out everything she wants to know. Also is it wrong of me to want to vomit every time Kate and Jarrod try to sound romantic and in luuuurve?
Just you wait for the next chapter.
Q:A bit late, but I just realized: why does the lab not have a first aid kit? It seems like it would be a vital item to have until a student can get to the nurse (or hospital). I'm fairly certain my chemistry classes had one.
This is my second time reading this book, and I would not have thought about this if you had not mentioned it.
I think my classes had one as well.
Q:what do you think the most marysue thing a character could do
Make anyone who even slightly disagrees with her be in the wrong not only in her mind, but in others’ minds as well.
It’s relative though because even that could be done well.
There’s a reason why Mary Sue traits are so popular outside of it being fantasy fulfillment. A lot of these things have been done well before to great success.
Q:I...oh my gosh. I keep thinking that we've reached the pinnacle of bad writing, but each chapter is so much worse than the last one. And you keep on going for us! You are truly not like other girls.
I know. It’s a gift.
Q:1) If Kate is not reading Jarrod's mind, how does she know what he's thinking so specifically? 2) I am skeptical she learned anything about "going too fast" seeing as from your description she just forces him to go along with whatever she wishes regardless of his own opinion.
I think she’s only reading his mind a little bit as opposed to barging in there like a freight train.
Q:So Jarrod doesn't have a backbone because he was surprised that Kate's grandmother just started screaming out of nowhere? What does she expect him to do?
Have a come to magic moment, apparently.
So I’ve been watching Cupcake Wars a lot recently and I was thinking about it and I’ve come up with four cupcakes themed for you and MSP.
The Mary Sue: Because they always smell like strawberries, the Mary Sue is a white chocolate strawberry cupcake with a Pink Champagne frosting and a little strawberry on top (dead centre of course).
The Citrus Queen: A cinnamon Kumquat cupcake with lemon cheesecake filling and decorated with an orange marshmallow frosting and a little dark chocolate moustache and top hat.
The Mary Sue Princess: A spicy, sassy Mayan chocolate cupcake (that’s dark chocolate with a bit of chilli) with a pink chilli cordial frosting and a little fondant tiara sprinkled with edible glitter.
The Oh God What Am I Reading: A lavender tea and chocolate cupcake with a Moscato white wine frosting and a tiny butter shortbread heart.
And those are only some of the combos I came up with. You now have cupcakes dedicated to you.
EDIT from submitter: Scratch the last one-
Take the Send Help instead: A Vanilla bean and sweet tea cupcake with a chocolate vodka frosting and little s.o.s fondant plaque.
I will take four of each please.
Yes. Lots of yes. I need these for my Very Mary Sue Reviews.
Someday we will have a tea party for Bad Fanfiction and MSP.
Q:This is just... ugh. Everything about the magic in this book reeks of the author just going in "oooh, they can do magic, be impressed, it's so amazing" and not actually THINKING about any of it. There are few things I love more than analyzing magic systems, so this is pissing me off royally. (Though not quite as much as the horrendous lab safety.)
We’re going to see spells and stuff.
I’m so excited about you all reacting to future events in this book.
Q:I'll have to admit to never having that problem. It may just be that I like dissections and surgery but no, I have never been "squicked" by a body part.
I’m sure plenty of people are okay with it.
I, personally, am squicked.
I am not the person you would want with you if you happened to have your intestines spilling out.
I mean, I would help you hold them in as best I could, but I would be saying “oh my god oh my god oh my god” repeatedly.
Maybe even “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.”
Q:I know you said you don't like discussing HON on your blog, but is there a chance you'll do a Sue Review for it in the future?
Yes! It’s actually next. I’m bracing myself.
Q:Have any of you seen a retina? Because up close they look iridescent. Like the inside of an abalone shell or the green/blue feather on a male mallard duck. Retinas may actually be the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I really don’t want to see it when I look into someone’s eyes.
It’s not that I find it naturally repellant on its own.
Have you ever seen anything that squicks you out because your brain knows you’re not supposed to be able to see it and usually if you can something has gone horribly wrong?
A Very Mary Sue Review: Old Magic Chapter Three
I’m going to have to go back through this chapter and the last to add notes to them because I was lazy this go-round.
Here is the last chapter.
Kate and Jarrod both want the sexytiems with each other, and Kate is taking Jarrod to her grandmother’s house to heal his arm.
She also told him he had powers.
He didn’t take it well. But he didn’t take it super poorly either. It was a whole lot of boring.
I found out heaps about Jarrod Thornton really quickly. The scariest part is the fact that he has absolutely no idea of his talents. His gift, I mean. And he lacks confidence in himself, badly. I wonder why? What sort of life could have reduced his self-confidence to zilch. Especially in the face of all that power he’s sheltering.
Two things =/= heaps.
Kate is one jealous monologue about Jarrod’s power away from a supervillain. I’m just saying.
Q:You should have a link to your Mary Sue Review tags. I see a billion asks and its hard to get to at this point ;;
I do. I use “book review” as the tag.
I’ve mentioned it a couple of times, but that probably gets lost in the tag as well.
I have taken to (with Old Magic) putting a link to the previous review in every new review. I am currently working on the new review.
Q:It always drives me crazy because characters rarely have the skin/hair/eye color combination I have. If they're pale with dark hair, they nearly ALWAYS have light colored eyes. I remember being really frustrated by that, growing up.
I WAS SO MAD ABOUT THAT.
My mom has green eyes, and the majority of my dad’s family has green eyes, and I HAVE BROWN EYES.